Friday Morning Edition v. 1.0

I awoke this morning after a fairly terrible dream (and FB's alarm clock going off. Still not sure why it was set for 8am. I doubt it has anything to do with The Surprise, since he turned it off and went back to bed).

Anyway...

~~~Begin dream sequence~~~

In this Fairly Terrible Dream, FB, Kewkie and I were all over at my mom's house. I think we might have been eating pie. Must have been some holiday. Regardless of the noms situation, we were there and all of a sudden this really horrible girl I extremely dislike, we will call her Lydia*, walked right in and started making herself at home. I interrogate my mother about this wondering how she could have betrayed me so much as to inviting The Lydia over for holiday pie!

Mom: "She's not a friend of yours?"

Me: "Ewwww...no... my friends aren't useless piles of human excrement."

Mom: "Why are you so mean to her?"

Me: "She used all my tampons without asking."

Mom: (quizzical look)

Me: "long story."

At this point it's apparent my mom isn't going to do anything to remedy the situation so I turn on SUPER SAIYAN BITCH MODE (fyi, I don't like DBZ at all, however, it accurately describes the situation, really horrible hair and all). I grab the Lydia villain by the hair, shout some expletives and toss her out the door. I watch her look all confused and sad as she walks back to whatever hole she crawled out of. I also watch to make sure she doesn't slash my tires or something equally displeasing. I return to my pie only to discover FB had eaten the rest of mine and to see Kewkie lying on the floor bleeding from a revenge fork stabbing.

~~~End dream sequence~~~

So I woke up deciding I was definitely "disgruntled" and in desperate need of a caffeinated substance. I was also feeling a bit empowered after defeating my enemy so easily in a dream. Empowered enough to finish the dishes that had been taunting me for the past week. I now have a shiny kitchen thanks to the magical Brillo pad that is my best friend in erasing all sorts of icky things. Now I need to go do human-ish things like venture off to the bank and wake FB up and find out what the heck THE SURPRISE is. It had better be good because all this waiting is driving me nuts. And when I say good I mean like DISNEY WORLD good. Or NEW GRYPHON PLUSHIE good.

Hmph.

* Name has been changed to protect the icky. I don't even know why I gave it a name. It is below such things. And no, I'm not normally this much of a SSB towards people. Well...maybe I am. It's debatable! I also hate the name Lydia. It just screams evil villain that wants to invade my dreams and make me cranky.